Responsible to But Not For

Responsible to But Not For

I CORINTHIANS 7

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“How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord as assigned to them, just as God has called them.”

1 Corinthians 7:16-17

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There is so much to unpack and talk about in this chapter.  Content I found hard to read, grapple with, and discuss with others. A lot of it felt offensive to me, as a woman.  In full transparency, I actually disliked reading a lot of this chapter. However, the verses above really jumped off the page for me.

I am a believer. My husband is not.  I have a relationship with God, I read the bible, I attend church, I am in a community group, and I pray with and for my children.  My husband does not. He does join me for the big holidays, and he is supportive of my involvement at church. But I would be lying if I said that this doesn’t cause some struggle, strife and honestly even sadness for me.

The few verses before the ones I shared, Paul talks about how an unbelieving husband or wife is sanctified through their believing spouse. So, is it my responsibility as the believer that my husband becomes a believer?   At first thought, I found myself feeling angry and almost resentful.  Oh good, one more thing that falls on my shoulders. As a wife and mother, I feel like so much is on my shoulders already.  And man this…well, this is big.  It feels like a lot of pressure. Then in verse 16. Paul asks a rhetorical question: “how do you know?”

After reading this a few times, it clicked. In this sense, sanctify does not refer to salvation. My faith in God covers my home and all the people in it. I am responsible to share the love of Jesus with those around me, both believers and unbelievers.  But I am not responsible for my husband’s salvation or his relationship with Jesus (or any other unbeliever for that matter).  Although my faith cannot offer my husband salvation, my testimony could one day lead him to the Lord! That is powerful and gives me hope.

For now, all I can do is love my husband fiercely, plant seeds, have faith, live out my life as believer in my home and believe that one day my husband will seek the Lord. The rest is between God and my husband.  And that is work only the Holy Spirit can do. 

I thought of Revelations 3:20-

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“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”

Revelation 3:20

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The thing about God is, He is a gentleman. He will only come where he is invited.  Once He is invited, He is all in.

The enemy wants to use this to bring sadness to me, division in my marriage and to keep me distant from God. But I won’t let him.  It is important to remain who I am in Christ. Because being single or married is irrelevant to personal spirituality. This is the situation God has called me to and I am where I am meant to be. I will believe for my husband’s salvation.  In the meantime, I will not let his unbelief keep me from continuously pursuing a more intimate relationship with God. I will not let the enemy divide my marriage or allow thoughts of doubt to creep into my head and heart.  Instead, I will find joy in the moments my husband joins me at church. I will celebrate that my daughters know and love Jesus, and I will keep believing more is yet to come.

Prayer: Lord, I pray that You would soften the heart of the unbeliever in my life.  You know that right now, it’s my husband I am thinking of.  I pray that you reveal your love to him. Please allow him to know and understand he does not need to tidy up his life, heart, or mind before You love him.  You are ready with arms open now.  I believe for it! I know the Holy Spirit can do great, powerful, and mighty work in the heart of the unbeliever I love so much.  While I wait, I declare that I will not let the enemy divide my marriage and I will not believe the lies of unworthiness he wants to sell me. Amen.

Pictures-: these are some of my favorite pictures/church memories of me and my family.

1. My husband and I looking cute this year for family pictures.

2. Christmas Eve service in 2019.  This will always be a cherished memory as it was my stepson’s first church service!

3. My family at church for Easter in 2022.  

4. My husband and my youngest daughter at church for Christmas Eve 2022. The way he is holding her, the way she is hugging him, the candles in the background and the lighting in the picture. I get teary eyed remembering how sweet it was and how happy I felt that he was there with me.

5. My oldest daughter and I at the Christmas Eve 2023 service.